Messed Up?

You know, that feeling, when you just mess up? And you only realize how badly you messed up once it's over? And then you try and try and  you try so freaking hard, to fix things. But, what if there's no way?
There's a certain point in every circumstance like this, where you honestly just need to stop TRYING. I know - every play school teacher will be mad that I said this, but in real life, some things just..get out of your control. There's only so much you can do to fix what's broken, and after that, you just need to wait.
To anyone who's reading this, who knows me VERY well, you probably know what I'm talking about, but for certain privacy reasons, I'm not going to share the whole story to everyone else.
Basically, things have been good for a while. A few months have past, and everything stayed the same; happy. And believe me, I've loved every second of it. But yesterday, I made a mistake. I risked everything, in attempts to help the person I love. Instead of helping, I made things worse. I caused more drama.  I caused tears. I caused sleepless nights.  I'm not really the type of person that intentionally hurts people; I'm the type that tries to keep everything all calm and chill. I love being happy, but I'm even happier when others are happy.
But yes, I ruined things, and if the certain person who this is all about reads this, I want you to know that I'm honestly incredibly sorry. I know that sometimes I just say this, well, just because I feel bad and I don't want people to be mad at me, but this is different. It's not all about me. It's about you.  I messed with you more than comprehendable. I was a complete jerk, and I love you.
But enough of me being sappy (no need to pull out the tampons and ice cream tubs.)
I just wanted to let everyone know, that sometimes things are out of your reach. Like me. I've done everything that I could. Now it's just hoping that things work out.
Anyone who's been in a relationship should understand this.
I really hope, and wish, and dream, that these things turn up. Sometimes, people just have a bad day, and say stupid stuff. That's just a part of life though. It probably happens to everyone.
Anywho, I'm out.
Thanks for reading. This is like the only serious blog I think I've ever wrote.
Bye bloggers.

-Zoe